George Bush's Answer
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken
is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

John Kerry's Answer
While serving in Vietnam, I was in favor of the chicken crossing the
road. Then later I realized that there were those who needed the
chicken on this side of the road. Now I would like to see the chicken
on the other side of the road, unless of course it would be better
served to be on this side of the road. Ideally, I think the chicken
should be in the middle of the road.

Ralph Nader's Answer
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road has been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

Bill Gates' Answer
I have just released eChicken 2004, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

Dr. Seuss' Answer
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told.

Ernest Hemingway's Answer
To die. In the rain. Alone.

Martin Luther King's Answer
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa's Answer
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
for us.

Barbara Walters' Answer
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.

Jerry Seinfield's Answer
Why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken
doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Pat Buchanan's Answer
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Jerry Falwell's Answer
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what they call it—the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
be gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side."

Aristotle's Answer
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Captain Kirk's Answer
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Bill Clinton's Answer
What'd I do? I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

O.J. Simpson's Answer
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

L.A.P.D.'s Answer
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Albert Einstein's Answer
Did the chicken cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?